Monday, August 24, 2015

Square of Nine - Lenormand Reading

Carta Mundi Lenormand 
Here is a reading today, posted with permission, excluding names etc.

A female client has begun a new relationship with a man. Things are moving along really fast, and she is feeling pretty good about it. They currently live together, and she wants to know how things will go between them in the coming weeks / months.

I did charge the man and woman in the deck to represent themselves. I added them into the whole deck, shuffled, cut the deck and then drew out nine cards after the deck was reassembled, letting the cards fall naturally at will.

Looking at the four corners first, we have Dog+Tower and Child + Man.

Read together we get a single friend / romantic interest (dog+tower) looking for a new start (child+man). He could be seen as immature (child+man), I say this rather than a young man, because the tower represents someone older in age to me, and we would have one card saying older, and one saying younger and that wouldn't work for this reading because we are talking about one man -- he can't be both younger and older than this woman!

The center card is the Snake, which tells what the focus will be between the couple in the coming weeks / months. I am guessing weeks though because with my experience, Lenormand cards tend to unfold quicker rather than slower. Sometimes cards are already manifesting as the cards are laid out. No lie. That is one of the things that intrigues me most about this wonderful deck of cards.

Anyhow, the Snake is about complications, troubles and detours. It can also be another woman since I charged the actual woman in the deck to represent my client, I know that this is not her. So what the snake is telling me here is that this couple is going to have some complications in the coming days.

Card one - the Dog, is the reason why the question is being asked in the first place. She wants a loyal romantic partner, and things seem to be good right now, so she would like to see them continue in this way. Who wouldn't? :)

I then examine the diamond around the central card. We have here: Fox + Sun, and Mice + Crossroads. These combinations will tell the dynamics of their troubles and anything hidden that will have an influence on the days to come.

I see that things may be going along so smoothly that it will become too good to be true. (fox+sun). Perhaps he is putting on a front for her? This is usually the case in the beginning of a relationship, but not usually with the intent to cause mischief, which the fox card represents here.

This is going to cause some stress or loss (mice). I am seeing that there will be some worrisome choices, a choice that results in loss, or some uncertainty in their future. (mice+crossroads).

Row one across: Dog + Fox + Child - a false start with a friend or romantic partner.

Row two across: Sun + Snake + Mice - success brings both problems and loss.

Row three across - Man + Crossroads + Tower - although this can be read in a few different ways, I am getting the sense here that this man will stand tall and walk away. He isn't stable (man+crossroads) and will make a decision to be alone (crossroads+tower).

The arrows are Dog + Crossroads + Child and Man + Fox + Tower.
The friend / new romantic partner will make a choice immaturely. I say immaturely because the child is next to the fox card, so I see it in a negative light. (dog+crossroads+child).
The man (man) has old secrets (fox, tower).

Additional info can be seen in knighting. Here I am noticing that the Man knights both the Fox, and the Mice. Together these cards say to me that the man can be dishonest and that he probably doesn't have any money.

Also continuing to knight, the Dog knights both the Mice and the Crossroads, which say to me that two friends part ways.

In summary: I believe in the days to come this woman will find out things about this man that she doesn't like, and it will cause issues between them, and eventually a parting of ways.

I did this reading in a way that others could see exactly my thinking, in hopes that if anyone has trouble reading a square of nine, this may help. I never put "fluffy stuff" in a reading if it isn't there, and I try to use words that will help rather than hurt.  Have a blessed week ahead!

Blessed Be.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Rune Cards - Yay!

Sorry for so much card pimping but I had to show you because I am so proud of how they turned out.

I got my Rune Stone Oracle Cards back from the printers, and they look beautiful. They are bridge size, so they fit right in my purse and are a lot less heavy than the stone sets. I was nervous, but now I am elated. I hope others like them as much as I do.

I am going to include a pdf file with the card meanings since some of us have less than perfect eye sight, and won't be able to read the definitions from the cards themselves. If you want to know more, you can visit my etsy store. HERE.

Doing the happy dance.

Blessed Be.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Thisbe's Nemesis Oracle - The Creation Process

Thisbe's Nemesis Oracle 

One of my favorite love stories of all time is the story of Pyramus and Thisbe.

As told by the Ovid, This story is similar to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet.

It takes place in ancient Babylon, where these two children grew up in a one-room house that was connected to the other. Over the years, they fell in love with each other, but could only talk through a hole in their wall because their parents refused them to see each other.

Finally, Pyramus got fed up with his parents and so did Thisbe. They decided to run off one night and elope. Pyramus gave Thisbe the location of the place they would meet, and they agreed.

Thisbe was the first to arrive at the first Mulberry bush outside of the city, but as she was waiting, a lioness walked by with her jaws covered in blood from a previous kill that day. Thisbe, frightened at her sight, ran non-stop to the nearest cave. Soon after, Pyramus walked by and saw a cloak, his love gift to her, covered in blood and torn to pieces with the footprints of the lioness left behind. He immediately thought that his only love had been killed by a hungry lion, and unsheathed his sword (her love gift to him), letting the cold, hard steel pierce his broken heart. Thisbe, bringing courage to her heart, ran back and found her only love lying on the ground next to the blood-covered Mulberry bush with his sword impaling his chest.

She gasped in horror as she asked the still breathing Pyramus what happened. Barely able to stay awake, he told her what happened and she cried in sorrow. She took Pyramus' blood-stained sword and asked him to wait for her while she brought the blade into her own soft flesh. Thus they died together, in love and peace.

This is why the berries on the Mulberry bush are red, instead of their original white, in commemoration of the two young lovers and their great sacrifice.

Thisbe's nemesis was that she couldn't foretell her future. Had she been able to look into her future, she may have been able to change her fate, and have lived happily ever after.

This story is the inspiration for this new oracle deck that I have created. I used Pre-Raphaelite style paintings done by one of my favorite artists of all time; John William Waterhouse. His works have been used in other decks that I admire, so I thought I would try my hand at creating with them too. There may be a few images by other artists of the same era mixed in as well, if I liked them. They will be available with black borders & numbered or without borders & without numbers.

The cards above, when put together in a story (no question asked), they show a young woman who is saving herself for marriage, and is curious when her boyfriend might propose. :)

The cards that have numbers, I gave numbers simply to be able to add an extra layer of depth to a reading. If three cards are not enough to answer a question, you can add the numbers on them together, and find the card associated with that number for further information.

The cards above do not have borders, and are not numbered.

I have given names to the cards that either fit visually with the painting, or ones that go along with the story of the painting. There will be 54 cards total to a deck, and printed on very lovely linen stock, poker size; which is 2.5" wide  x 3.5" high. There will be an option to purchase a little zipped bag to match the cards & store them safely. As of right now, I have to wait on a test print of the cards to see if all is well before offering them to the public.

I have also been working on a rune card deck that will be available also, but I am not sure of the details just yet. They will come with black borders and extra cards with definitions of the runes in both upright, and reversed positions. Here is a small sample of what they look like without the words on them. I am adding the rune "title" to each card so that you will know when one is in reversed position or not during reading.

They would be read as:
Question: Will I get the new job?
Rune one: good fortune and advancement in career.
Rune two: good counsel from a respected person.
Rune three: a lot of positive energy.
Rune four: beware of some delays, and take precautions not to get sick because you don't want to miss too many days on the new job!

So, this is why I haven't been blogging much; I've been creating some new cards. It keeps me busy and out of the refrigerator. I am trying to drop some weight. Plus I have made the pact to myself not to sign onto facebook or other social media until I have exercised daily. ;)

Blessed Be.

The Therapeutic Shopper

Wings of Change Lenormand - top row
Today I drew from two different Lenormand decks. The first row is the Wings of Change Lenormand by Chloe McCracken. The second row is the Carta Mundi Lenormand.

The question: Why did she purchase the item from me?

Line one : Clouds + Anchor + Garden + Key + Lily.

Clouds - trouble, doubt, confusion, uncertainty.
Anchor - hope, stability, job, attachments, faithfulness, steadfast.
Garden - public, community, network, entertainment.
Key - access, opportunity, solution, important, certainty.
Lily - family, virtue, elder, healing, pure.

It looks like she may have had some uncertainty whether or not she liked the item at first (clouds). Perhaps she looked at it several times and had an attachment to it (anchor).
The item is located online, so it is easily accessible to her (garden).
She saw an opportunity to get it (key).
So she did get it, without any deceptive motive (lily).

Mirroring cards - she could be using the item for success at work, or perhaps it was on her wish list already and she finally had the opportunity to get it (anchor, key). Maybe she had nothing better to do (clouds, lily).

Line two : Mice + Garden + Coffin + House + Clouds.

Mice - theft, deterioration, loss, damage, anxiety, stress, pests.
Garden - public, community, network, entertainment.
Coffin - a box, ending, depression, sickness.
House - home life, family, property, real estate, comfort.
Clouds - trouble, doubt, confusion, uncertainty.

When mice, and garden are together I think of a stressful event (mice, garden), that
left her feeling depressed (coffin),
caused her to seek comfort (house) in the confusion & trouble (clouds).
Maybe she was shopping for therapeutic benefit?

Mirroring cards - networking from the comfort of her home (garden, house), looking for a way to replace a lost item, or to feel good for a minute (mice, clouds).

Sorry for the less than mediocre photo, I had a teenager trying to be a part of the picture. :) lol

Hope everyone is having a lovely week. I am quite thankful that it has been a little cooler outside. Quite beautiful weather actually. We have had some rain, but I like rain, especially the smell it leaves in the air when it passes. That, and it leaves everything bright green, and pretty.

Blessed Be.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Tarot Timing & I Miss You

Tarot Cards & Timing:

I thought that I would post today about timing in Tarot. I wanted to pull out the cards that symbolize timing for me, and what they say, then if anyone has anything to add to it, they can in the comments below. I'm always up for more learning, and I find it interesting to hear about other people's thoughts on this subject. 

It's always important to remember that our actions can interrupt these predictions though! Nothing is set in stone for as long as we continue having free will.

The 8 of wands is that card that foretells something fast, and without interruption (depending on the cards next to it, of course).If you are doing a reading, and someone is asking about timing, this is a good indication that their question will manifest rather quickly with little effort on their part.

The Magician on the other hand tells you that things will manifest in a speedy manner, but not without putting your mind to it. You will have to participate in making things happen.

The knight of swords whooshes in on his horse, hair flying in the air, bringing you something fast and unexpected! Sometimes this is welcomed, other times it isn't. It can be reckless and without a lot of thought. There's a good chance that you won't even be ready when it happens.
The Chariot, full steam ahead, being pulled by two powerful horses, rushes in to tell us that things will be moving relatively quickly, for as long as the two horses and their driver aren't disturbed along the way.

The ace of wands
is also a pretty fast card. But remember to be watchful for the opportunity it brings, or else you will miss it. I think of this in terms of a wild flower. It grows quickly, but you will have to harvest it quickly before the farmer comes along and mows it down again.


Temperance is a card about finding the right mix. So if applying it to timing, it suggests that things will happen for you when the time is right, and not until then.

The Star is a wish card, and it tells you that you can be hopeful that things will work out in your favor, but again, the timing is up to the Gods themselves, or the Universe, whichever you prefer.

The Hanged Man says eventually, while he hangs in the balance, learning the lesson that he is meant to learn. This could be painfully hard to wait for, but you will walk away with a new way of looking at life.

The World, of course everything comes to a complete circle, just as the earth spins on its axis. You just have to wait a while for it to happen. Be patient, you have no choice.

The 7 of pentacles, a card that says it will happen your way, but not before you put in the effort to make it so. Be prepared to work hard.

These are just a few timing cards that I can think of at the moment. If you have more, do tell!

Over the last few days I've been able to reminisce about days gone by. (6 of cups to the left). My father came to town for a short visit. I had a nice time catching up with him. I am ashamed to admit that it has been a couple of years since I've seen him. It hits hard when you see your parents are older than you remember them as. Time moves quicker than we ever notice while we are going through it. You wake up, and one day you too are old. Anyhow, our visit was pleasant, but then it was time to say good bye. We both had a couple of tears in our eyes, hugged, and the visit was over. I could tell that he didn't want to leave, anymore than I wanted him to. (5 of cups, 8 of cups) I will cherish the memory of his visit, and hold on to hope that we can see one another again soon. Have a great week everyone.

Blessed Be.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Through Wind, Sand & Snow

I haven't blogged in a few days due to something that has weighed quite heavily on my mind.

To make a long story short, I went out with a friend last Friday, and when she didn't think I could hear her, I heard her tell the events of our evening together in a very negative light to her other "friend." She exaggerated many things, and put a twist on them so that I looked bad, and she looked like a victim for hanging out with me. Like who on earth would want to hang out with me, right?

When I confronted her about it, she told me that she didn't do what I heard her do. I think I would have found an ounce of respect in the situation had she admitted it and maybe given a reason why she twisted things in her conversation with the other person. But she didn't take the higher road here. It hurt, and it was quite disappointing for me to say the least.

This person is someone that I have shared many personal things with from my life, and I have come to rely on her as a true friend. When someone has me as their friend, I would do anything for them. They just don't build friends like me anymore, I guess.

The above three psycards are to represent what I need to embrace about this situation. We have prison, never and the home.

Together, they tell me that I need to embrace that I got out of the house, and into a very public place, pushing my boundaries of comfort. I have been a hermit for quite a few years, and being out in public like this is something I used to always do, but now find very difficult to do. So this is the positive for me out of the whole event that transpired.

The 5 of swords from the Bohemian Gothic Tarot is to show me what my friendship with this person actually is. The 5 of swords is traditionally about either feeling defeated, or victorious at the expense of another. This battle is usually not an even match. The outcome, most likely a surprise. Very clearly, not an even friendship. See the wolf behind my back? Waiting to bite me when I am not looking. How can I not be disappointed here? It makes my stomach ill thinking about it.

The three psycards to the right here represent what I need to let go of in this situation. We have fortune, the moon and the tree.

Together, they tell me I need to let go of placing such high value on this friendship and to let my instincts guide me into the future. I stand tall, even when I stand alone. Here is where I take the higher road, the one less traveled.

The knight of swords from the Bohemian Gothic Tarot is to show me what my friendship with this person isn't. The knight of swords is traditionally about a leader with high intellect, quick wit and someone that can be a great friend if you don't cross them. The shadow side of this knight is someone who has to get their way, and takes advantage of others by trying to be intellectually superior.

I find the knight of swords to be much like me. Quick wit, and not to be crossed. And ironically, now, as I have seen her in action, she matches the personality of the knight's shadow side. She has always talked about her other "friends" in front of me in a bad way, I don't know why I thought that I would be so special. So in regards to what this friendship isn't -- it's certainly not a balanced, healthy friendship, and even though we are both intellectual people, one uses this for bad. Just as a super hero and a villain. It isn't the friendship that I thought it was.

I've seen my answers here before me in the cards, yet they are not a magic pill. I have all these feelings that I don't know what to do with. I lost my potential romantic partner in the not so distant past, and now I have come to realize that a friendship that I have had since 2008 isn't what I thought it was. I am that tree, firmly rooted in the ground. The wind, sand and snow will continue to try to damage me, but in the Spring, I will still have beautiful green leaves. There is a reason and a season for all things, I suppose. (sigh).

Blessed Be.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Coffee Caravan Oracle Cards

Since I was asked to tell more about my Coffee Caravan Oracle Cards, I have decided to write this blog for those interested.

The Arabs discovered coffee beans around 600 AD. They were able to keep this beverage a secret for a couple of hundred years, and then after introducing it to the Turks, it became popular in the whole of Western Europe sometime around the late 18th century.

Certain coffee leaves a thick, muddy sediment at the bottom of your cup. If you swirl the cup and turn it upside down, the grounds will fall down leaving some patterns on the surface of the cup. There are a lot of people who believe that images and shapes created in the coffee ground in contrast with the white color of the cup have predictable future meanings.

The ancient art of coffee cup reading has been very popular in the Middle East & Greece for thousands of years. It is quite common to see friends sharing coffee and having a glimpse into one another's future at local cafes. It is a social ritual accepted by most everyone.

Each culture has its own rituals and traditions related to coffee prediction. Since religion is also involved in coffee cup readings, it is understandable that a few symbols are interpreted differently.

There are variations in symbols and meanings in both coffee cup readings, and tea leaf readings. I have taken these common symbols and added my own suggested meanings to them, turning them into a beautiful oracle deck. This allows for the same great readings without the mess, and they can be done at your convenience, in any location.

I am not the first person to incorporate similar symbols into cards, but I have created this particular deck to my own style and taste.

I have spent many hours collecting images via public domain and other paid stock image sites, in order to come up with this vibrant set of cards. There are 69 cards total and 3 that include suggested meanings to each of the 69 symbols used.

They are read similar to Lenormand cards, but unlike Lenormand, there are no rules. This is an oracle, so it is meant to be used in whichever way comes natural to you, and rings true to you. If you feel a certain image should mean something else, then by all means, let it represent what you want it to. These cards are just a tool, and you are the diviner. Your intuition is what will put meaning into your readings.

The title of my deck came to me through my own free spirit and desire to someday travel the world. I thought that it was catchy and inspiring. The backs of the cards show a map of the world in coffee beans, and a gypsy caravan setting up camp as they travel to wherever the wind takes them.

Thank you for inquiring about my cards. If you are interested in owning a deck of your own, you can purchase one through my etsy store HERE.

If you have an oracle of your own, and wish to swap a deck, I am open to that as well. Just message me on etsy, and we can negotiate. :)

Blessed Be.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Cold As Ice

I thought I would do a reading to see what is coming up for me in August. I am using my Coffee Caravan Cards.

The cards to the left are my present circumstances. We have Balloon, Elephant and Letter.

Balloon usually represents a celebration of some sort, releasing tension or having lofty ideas.

Elephant is about a heaviness, something big, a short delay followed by success.

Letter is mail, papers, or communication.

In order to read these cards we put them together, quite similar to Lenormand.

For me, these cards are saying that my thoughts are heavy, and it keeps me from saying what is on my mind, out loud anyway. This is very true at the moment. As past posts have stated, I am currently in the process of letting go of a friendship that was suppose to result in a romantic partner. There hasn't been any recent communication between us, and I am not convinced that there will be either. I think things are just what they are, and need no explanation. Short messages were exchanged a couple weeks ago, and they were precise and to the point. I should be celebrating and feeling lighter now because I am no longer standing still, but choosing to move ahead. There is something empowering about taking yourself out of the running for second best. I refuse to be any man's "option."

These three cards are my past. We have carousel, house and rabbit.

Caraousel represents an adventure, something fast, whirling out of control, and often times infatuation.

House is our home life, our family and the things that bring us comfort or stability.

Rabbits are fast, elusive and mostly shy. This card comes up when we avoid things.

Together these cards tell me that my past has been primarily about infatuation with someone familiar, and elusive. It started quickly, and ended just as fast. I didn't know if I was coming or going with him, and when I decided to get off the carousel, I was dizzy.

Three more cards here, in the position of advice.
They are mushroom, coffin and key.

Mushroom is about feeling small and insignificant. Usually when this starts to happen, it doesn't stop there, as mushrooms start popping up everywhere in proper conditions.

Coffin is headaches, feeling sick, endings or being stuck in a place for way too long.

Key is something important, an opportunity or a way out, a chance to advance.

As far as advice, these cards tell me that there is no logical reason to stick around in a place that makes me feel small, and insignificant. There is and will continue to be many opportunities that come up that are far better than what I am being offered right now!

In the position of obstacles, I have mask, volcano and wand.

Mask is about the things that are hidden from view. When we wear a mask, not only do we conceal our own self, but we also obscure our own vision looking out the holes.

Volcano, those dreaded emotions, usually anger seeping through. By the time they erupt, there is little we can do to stop the damage. This is life-changing.

Wand is a card that represents manifestation, or manipulation of the things in our environment to get what we want. Choosing to be in control instead of letting others control you. If accompanied by negative cards, it can be in the reverse, stating that someone else is controlling you!

The obstacles that I face currently, and through out the month of August are taking back what is mine, and not allowing another to control my emotions. To see through the deception and uncover the hidden.

In my future (August), we have iceberg, horse and moon.

Iceberg can indicate trouble, slow moving things, coldness, or being into something deeply.

Horse brings messages, a new lover or fast movement.

Moon tells of emotions, dreams, night, or a phase that is being passed through.

Coming up in the month of August, for myself, I see me continuing to avoid messaging him, even if it hurts. But I also see him doing the same thing, as the horse faces the slow moving iceberg. I don't think I will be open to receiving a new lover, at least for now, but I do feel that I will pass through the month of August rather quickly, and in control of my own self. Since I didn't let too much happen between us, the hurt will run its course, and then all will be well again. This is to be expected.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my Coffee Caravan Oracle Cards. Until next time.

Blessed Be.

Monday, July 20, 2015

My Victory Feels Hollow

Bohemian Gothic Tarot
Today I drew the knight of wands, 2 of swords, and 6 of swords.

The knight of wands is about passion and impulse. As a person card, this person is likely someone who has immense charm, but lacks commitment. Most of his ideas are in his head, and never quite make them out. He may be a passionate lover, but he isn't "the one" who will warm your bed for the rest of your days.

In this card we have a young man standing in an overgrown graveyard. He is dressed in his best for appearance sake. He looks a bit snobbish and sure of himself. His horse is behind him, waiting outside the entrance for him when he returns. He isn't carrying flowers or anything to adore the grave he visits, which makes me think that he is only visiting it to make sure that the person is really dead. I doubt he will be spending much time there, and is probably on a schedule. Planting flowers is not on his itinerary as it might cause him to get his hands dirty.

The 2 of swords is about choices, inaction, balance, and blocking emotions. The two swords to me have always felt like a barrier, but one that is there on purpose, as if defending yourself from an attack.

In this card there is a young woman standing on a balcony under the night time sky. She is blindfolded, with her hands gently crossing her chest. If she chooses to, she can use her hands to uncover her eyes, but she doesn't. It makes me think that she is covering her eyes to avoid seeing the truth of something.

The blindfold gives her distance from her troubles, and serves as a distraction, helping to calm her mind. Her hands protect her heart. She has waited until the dead of the night, and found a place that she thinks will give her the privacy she needs, deliberately making herself unapproachable. Maybe even hiding.

Maybe the blindfold is a muse, rendering her most vulnerable, so that when she takes it off again, she will see how much control she has. She can then move forward with confidence knowing that things could always be worse.

The 6 of wands is about public recognition, progress, self-confidence and victory.  There is always a risk of being over confident though.

In this card we have a strong, robust man dressed in armor riding a horse. He is accompanied by soldiers who fight along beside him through his many battles. They wear masks to hide there true faces, but he himself doesn't. The blood on his lance is fresh, reminding us that victory isn't without the cost of something precious. There is no doubt that when people think of that battle, they will think of him, because he shows his true self, victoriously leaving the castle that he just conquered. A soldier is never without mental fatigue though, and they carry with them the screams of war. Though invisible, they are still very much there.

I can relate deeply with the cards presented before me today. I know this knight, and very well. He is the man who professed his love for me many times, but doesn't give me any real hope to hold onto. Unfortunately for him, his charm is starting to tarnish. I am the 2 of swords here, protecting myself, taking time out to be alone.

It is very tricky though, as he was a best friend since childhood. I have never looked at him before as a potential partner, so I could easily overlook his flaws before. But when we look for a mate, we have to see the flaws,  and the inconsistencies in their actions. We have to shine a light on EVERYTHING so that we can be sure if we are willing to live with it or not; to make sure we think its worth it to stay together.

This is where I become the 6 of wands, holding my head up high, knowing that I showed my true self. I put forth the effort and reached for him. But it was he, who chose to keep his mask on. My walking away comes at a high price; our friendship. I'm having trouble distinguishing the man in the mask verses the one without. Neither face is pleasing to see anymore, because the lines have been blurred. I was awake late last night trying to convince my heart that I am going to be okay. Although I fought bravely, and shared my vision, my victory feels hollow.

I will spend the day washing windows to cleanse my soul. Only when windows are clean can we see through them at all the details of our surroundings.

Blessed Be.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Crossing My Fingers

Peaceful Path Tarot by Jill Scott
Today I drew the 4 of pentacles, and the Queen of cups for my daily draw.

The 4 of pentacles is a card that traditionally symbolizes stability, security and possession.

Here we have a young girl holding a wooden bucket bent down collecting eggs from a nest in her barn.  The hen is securely sitting on the eggs, showing some reluctance to give them up. The eggs are the hen's potential babies, and it is her job to warm them and keep them safe.

The Queen of cups is about being intuitive, emotionally stable and compassionate.

Here we have a woman who holds her baby and comforts it. She may be humming a tune to bring peace to the infant, or rocking it slowly lulling it to sleep. Whatever the case, she is using her motherly instincts to care for the baby.

These cards are right on target today, as my 13 year old daughter woke a couple of days ago with a pain in her foot. She doesn't leave her room enough since school has let out, which means she lacks proper exercise.

I miss the days when she went outside all day long to play with her friends and climb trees. The pain in her foot is mysterious and she hasn't done anything that she can recall to bring on such a symptom. I asked if she dropped something on it, but she says no.

Usually we remember twisting or stepping wrong, which would give explanation, but the only thing that makes sense to me is growing pains. Anyway, she really doesn't have much of a pain threshold, and is quite a drama queen. So I have spent my day caring for her, and keeping her comfortable, just as the Queen of cups would.

I went to the local drug store to get Tylenol and an ace bandage to wrap her foot. Just like the girl gathering eggs, I gathered what I needed at the store.

We have rotated using heat / cold on it. I am hoping that she will be okay soon. If not, I will be taking her to the doctors.

Crossing my fingers!

Blessed Be.

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Take the Mic With You

I was fortunate to get a reading from a friend today, and it confirmed the feelings that I had in my gut.

Today I drew three cards from the Bohemian Gothic Tarot asking what I should do next in my "situation."

I get 9 of pentacles, 7 of swords and the Page of cups.

My first reaction when seeing the cards, pulling them one at a time was to compose myself (9 of pentacles), because I am a strong, independent woman, take from this situation, that which serves me well (7 of pentacles) and keep walking, because the love that is being offered to me isn't mature enough to sustain me, and only speaks of what I want to hear. (Page of cups).

But I will take a more detailed approach for the sake of interpreting the artist's beautiful cards.

9 of pentacles - This card is about being independent, and resilient. When we reach a certain age, we are able to let go of all the drama, and learn to be content with the things that truly matter to us. But there can also be that feeling that you've missed out on something in life. In my case, a relationship that I never gave a chance.

The woman in this card stands tall and proud, her hand out, strong, balanced and holding a hooded falcon.  The look on her face shows pride, but her clothes and wig suggest that she is somehow faking it. At her feet, the skulls of other birds, perhaps indication that she has been alone with her pet birds for quite sometime. She keeps her falcon hooded, which makes me think she doesn't want him to fly away and leave her completely alone. It's one thing to be single and without human company, but another to be void of all living creatures. I would find it hysterical to see a bunch of cats in the picture with her, turning her into an "old cat lady." LOL (my friend's tease me about this all the time, telling me that I will someday be one).

7 of swords - This card usually indicates a small deception or dishonesty. For me today, I am sure that it represents rushing into something risky without first doing research, or even a little bit of vengeance for hurt feelings.

The young girl in the picture is carefully tip toeing away with a book of spells. The castle behind her only has one lit window, but no one appears to be looking out at her, which means she is currently safe. I bet her heart is pounding though! The question is, what does she plan to do with that spell book? Is she going to use it for good, or bad? Perhaps the book belongs to her, and she is just getting away while the getting is good?

Page of cups - This particular page usually brings messages of emotion and love. (as stated above, in my particular situation, I am hearing words of love, but not seeing actions to accompany them). Although this page usually says things with passion and goodwill, he/she is still naive. There is usually an unwillingness to grow up and leave childhood dreams behind.

The girl on this image looks young, like most Pages do. She is standing on a set of stairs, outdoors in the dark of the night. The look on her face, dreamy and unsure of herself. She doesn't look like she is certain if she wants to take the last step or not. At the bottom of the railing, an urn sits adorn by a water sprite. It appears to be watching her, waiting for her to make a move, maybe even whispering how fun it will be to leave and be free. The ivy vines twisting around the railing suggesting that she feels like she can't breath in that place any longer. I don't know how planned this event is, as she only holds a tiny purse, indicating a mind that has yet to grow with maturity.

Even with these different layers of detail, I still get the feeling that my next move should be to walk away, letting the past and what "might have been" go. Sometimes its just best to not know. Planning any vengeance, or desiring to hurt back will not prove mature. It just is what it is.

That doesn't stop me from adding funny memes to this post though, as a means to relieve frustration! ;) I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.

Blessed Be.

Friday, July 17, 2015

Wings of Change Lenormand Interview

I was fortunate enough to get one of Chloe's "Wings of Change Lenormand" decks. I was so excited to find them in the mail today. Pictures on the internet don't do them justice. They are very colorful and nostalgic. I'm sure that I will spend a lot of time with them in the future.

They shuffle like a dream and are printed on lovely linen stock, very durable.

They come with a plastic box to store them in, and 42 cards. The traditional 36 Lenormand cards, and an extra man, woman and the 4 elements, which are  pictured below.

I decided to do a short little interview with them just to get to know them a bit, and give me something to blog about today. Excuse my pictures as they are not so great. I have yet to try to scan images and post them that way.

1. Tell me about yourself. What is your most important characteristic?

I drew the book for this one. This deck's most important characteristic is its knowledge and discretion. It can keep secrets, just as easily as it can reveal them when asked the appropriate questions. 

2. What are your strengths as a deck?

During the time that the Lenormand card system was first used, the anchor was employed to stabilize a ship during turbulent weather. It was also a sign that those aboard the ship had reached their destination safely. What a lovely strength to offer to us, indeed. Stability in the midst of our own storms.    

3. What are your limits as a deck?

Here we have the heart, and star in combination, telling us that its limits are that it requires our love for divination, and our own personal intuition to receive clear messages. The cards don't have a voice unless we lend them our own. 

4. What do you bring to the table -- what are you here to teach me?

The crossroads and fish tell us that this deck will offer to us an abundance of choices, and their likely outcome if we choose to follow certain paths to the finish line. Nothing is set in stone, and where there is a will, there is a way. 

5. What is the potential outcome of our working relationship?

Aww, the dog made an appearance at just the right moment, assuring a friendship ahead. I could not be more happy. 

Hope everyone has a wonderful day.

Blessed Be.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

New Moon Perfection

Bohemian Gothic Tarot & Victorian Romantic Tarot
Today I drew the 8 of pentacles. In a standard Tarot deck, it usually represents being engaged in your work, learning all that you can along the way. It is about the quality of your work that makes you stand out above others. When you work at something hard enough, you can perfect it.

When looking at the card on the left, we see a little girl holding a doll in her arms. She has a smile on her face, and looks on at it with admiration.

The shopkeeper, assuming he is also the one who made the doll, folds his hands in front of him, watching after the little girl as she walks away, her back toward him. To me, the look on his face seems to be showing some resentment, or sadness. I am thinking that he put so much time, and effort into making this little doll, that he doesn't quite want to let it go.

In the card on the right, we see a young, handsome man sitting at the edge of his seat, balancing a pot on his lap. As he holds a paint brush in a very steady hand, he enthusiastically paints a pattern onto the pottery piece. His toes are even helping to balance him so that he doesn't slip up and make a mistake as he paints. He is at peace while he works. A woman looks on at him, admiring his work. It looks like she has been watching him for quite a while, being sure not to distract him, she leans against a wall keeping herself from making any sudden movements.

Tonight is a new moon, and I will be activating some magical things that I have ready to release into the Universe. When I do these rituals, I am sure to do them with as much intent, and perfection that I can. I start by clearing away any negativity, and grounding myself. Magic takes the path of least resistance, so I am sure that nothing I send out will keep it from manifesting.

Also, these cards put me to mind of how thoughtfully I prepared dinner tonight. I made sure that each bite would be full of flavor, and pleasing to our taste-buds. When I was finished, I put together eye pleasing plates, and sent them into the dinner area with the girls. I watched after them from the doorway, as they took their first bite. I wanted to be sure that they were as happy with how dinner turned out, as I was. Just as always, it took much less time to gobble the food than it did to prepare it.

Today is clearly about focus for me. :)

Blessed Be.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

She Becomes a Woman

Victorian Romantic Tarot & Bohemian Gothic Tarot
I haven't blogged in a couple of days because something at home has kept me down and out. Today I drew a couple of cards to ask about my day, and I get the 3 of pentacles, and the 8 of cups.

Once again, I am drawing from the Victorian Romantic Tarot & the Bohemian Gothic Tarot, comparing cards and adding dimension to their meanings. 

The 3 of pentacles is a card that shows teamwork, or using ones skills to accomplish something, and then feeling fulfilled. 

Whenever we take on a project, we put forth the efforts to see it to fruition, and when we are done, if we did all that we were suppose to do, and correctly, we will have something to be proud of.  

In the first card above, we have an older gentleman / craftsman carving a Christmas ornament, while two children watch on, captivated by his skills and dedication. The little girl's eyebrows are raised showing us that she is surprised and excited to see the final results of this project. 

In the second card, we have the scientist who created Frankenstein. The scientist stands back, arms raised as he anticipates his genius project coming alive. Watching on eagerly, while Frankenstein checks himself out for the first time, seeing what he can and can't do for himself. 

I feel like the past couple of days, I have been the scientist and my oldest daughter Frankenstein. When I went to pick the girls up from their father, I noticed AGAIN that my oldest daughter had went shopping for more clothes. It happens a lot. Every girl likes fine clothes, right? Well, I am all good and well with that except for the fact that my youngest daughter doesn't get anything. It's starting to feel like the new wife favors one child over the other, and my youngest daughter is also noticing, after all, she is 13. This will not pave the road for any bonding in the future, for this I am sure! 

Well being the mother that I am, I feel like I am the voice for my children. When they are being neglected or treated unfairly, it is still my responsibility to say something about it; so I did. My words weren't harsh, and I was diplomatic, but this still left a rift between me and my older daughter. I suppose she didn't like the fact that I told her that she was old enough to see what was going on, and that she knows right from wrong. I told her that she should have mentioned her sister, or tried to bring her back something from her trip to the store. I have never gone to the store and brought back for one and not the other just because one decided to stay home. Even when I dated men who had children of their own, I never felt right buying for my children and not his. I thought this was something that every mother would feel. But apparently not. So, I talked to the kid's father to make sure that this will not continue to happen. I  have one daughter with too many clothes to fit in a dresser, and another with hardly any. *sigh*

The 8 of cups is about abandonment, escaping something, and disappointments. 

The card on the left is of a woman who has walked partially down a sidewalk, and stops to wipe away her tears. Her dog looks like he is hesitant to further approach her, feeling her sadness, he tucks his tail between his legs. Behind them is 8 empty cups. It appears she was tending to her garden, but stopped before she was finished, due to this heaviness she feels in her heart; this disappointment. 

The card to the right, is rather intriguing. Each time I look at it, I give the woman a new story. This time, I see her as me. She wears pearls, and has her hair up, showing her maturity. She appears to be leaving behind the things that upset her and cause her grief, but she heads through a doorway that looks pretty scary. It has a skull above it, and it is very dark and eerie. She pauses for a moment to look behind her, her face full of concern. This is a transition period for her.

It is a transition period for me. I have raised two beautiful daughters into fine young women, and there are times when I must be their mother instead of their friend. Regardless of how it makes me feel, I still have to do what is right, and they will just have to get over it, or don't.

All that is left now is to give her space. Now that I think of it, this card could even be her, looking behind her toward me, and yet moving away from me one step at a time. It is her turn to transition into a mature young woman, and my turn to let go and see the fruits of my labor unfold before me, no longer under my control. Gulp. No easy feat for me!

Blessed Be.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Put On A Happy Face

Bohemian Gothic Tarot & Victorian Romantic Tarot
Queen of Cups
Today's card what the Queen of cups. She is quite beautiful in both cards. In the Bohemian Gothic Tarot she is alluring, and dreamy. All the Queens in this deck look as if they are hiding something, much like Queens of real life.

In real life, they have always had to put on an angelic, pretty face and be mostly subservient to their King and husband. Men, especially in times further in our past, have been married off to women who were usually betrothed to them at an early age. Love was a word of least importance, and often times void in the marriage altogether. I am sure over an extended period of time they would grow to care for one another, but political alliances were the inspiration for such matches, leaving emotional feelings to take a backseat.

Ironically, the Queen of cups in a traditional Tarot deck is used to represent emotional security. I doubt most Queens felt much of that in their lifetime! However, they were groomed from an early age to refrain from showing any emotions, and to keep up appearances. This beautiful Queen is certainly doing a fine job as she sits, arms stretched upward, calm, looking like she hasn't a care in the world. Her harp resting on her lap, chalice at her feet. Her clothes and jewels chosen with dignity and pride. The look on her face shows of a woman who thinks happy thoughts, or one who has escaped reality for a little while, dreaming of a life outside the walls of the castle. The crow / raven perched next to her tells a different story. He sits, waiting patiently for her to snap back to reality. He keeps her secrets, secrets that she only shares with him.

The Queen in the Victorian Romantic Tarot sits on a beautifully carved throne and glances off into the East, as if looking on at the rest of the world, and trying to sneak a peek into what life is like for those who live outside the castle walls. Still in this card, that dreamy look on her face. At her feet a golden chalice, flowers, a book, and a sleeping baby. This must be her baby because it is well cared for. I would think that the artist placed the baby here to show off the Queen's compassionate personality, but also to show that there is still an undertone of innocence left to be seen if one looks closely at her. Although she appears to be a stunning, well put together, grown woman, inside she still has the fragile, hopeful, romantic notions of a child.

Today, my day is less busy than the days prior. I do have to go into work for a short time, but my plans are to be at home and do some reading (hence the book at the Queen's feet), and just enjoy the quiet of my home. My girls are away visiting their father. I pick them up tomorrow. Maybe some self care is needed today, and that I should do something that makes me feel rejuvenated, all the while, putting on a happy face.

Blessed Be.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Flowers Grow Where They Are Planted

Today's cards are drawn again from the Bohemian Gothic Tarot, and the Victorian Romantic Tarot, both published by the same company. Baba Studios.

I get the page of swords. The page of swords is a card that symbolizes a curiosity or a mental anxiety / restlessness.

In the darker card, we have a woman who looks to be in a park at night. I wonder if she arrived at the park earlier, and sat next to the lantern in hopes that when darkness fell, it would give her some sort of light to comfort her? She looks like she is to meet someone, and I picture her frequently looking over her shoulder. Her mannerism in the image shows definite restlessness or angst. There is an angel behind her holding a sword. It is pointing down as if the angel is distracted by something other than the swords pointed edge.The angel in deep thought.

In the lighter card, a young man dressed in blue and yellow stands with his feet shoulder length apart in a garden outside a castle. Beside him is his friendly companion, a golden colored dog. Neither seem to be in motion, but just standing there, thinking. The man is not looking down, or even ahead, but off into space, perhaps lost in a daydream. The sword in his hand is pointing forward, but without intent to use it. He absolutely looks curious, and distracted. I'm betting that if I were standing before him in the garden he would have a lot to say, and with enthusiasm.

The 10 of swords on the left is of a woman who mourns for a lost loved one as she sits wiping her tears at their grave site, toward evening. You can tell that she visits the grave often because their are many flowers there, and they look well groomed. It also looks like the grave is on a hill over looking water, a rather lovely place for a loved one to rest eternally. There had to have been a lot of thought that went into finding this most perfect place. The sky is darkened by some rain clouds, but also some sunlight peeks through, leaving the sky pink. They say, "pink sky at night is a sailors delight, but if in the morning, sailors take warning." With that said, it may very well symbolize that her time for mourning may soon be over.

The 10 of swords on the right is such a beautiful image, and one like no other that I have seen. I find it stunning to look at, as it speaks volumes. The 10 of swords in general talks about betrayal, defeat and loss. In this image a person lays in the shallow water on a beach. How they got there, I can not say for sure, but it does make me think that they may have survived a great storm. The waves are crashing, and they have white caps. I am sure that the water is chilly and the wind quite fierce. The seagulls flying overhead may even be having trouble flying, yet they stay captivated by what goes on beneath them on the shoreline. A wave, in the form of a beautiful woman wraps its self around this person, as if to provide a safe haven, shelter from the storm. To me the waves symbolize the passing of emotions. This person lays wrapped up in their emotions, and can't find strength in themselves to get up and out of the water to dry off. They have lost all hope, and look for comfort in themselves. This usually happens when one feels the sting of betrayal, or defeat. There will however come a time when this person will have to get out of the water, or die from hypothermia, or even dehydration.

These cards are quite accurate for me during the last few hours. I am in deep thought, distracted by all sorts of things, trying to focus on one matter that needs my attention.

It is an emotional matter, and it causes me some deep pain, pain so deep that I rarely let it surface. I bet if it did surface I would cry an ocean, and be that person defeated, laying in the water feeling sorry for myself.

I have to remind myself that I am not a victim, nor do I have no say over my life! The truth is, I have most say over my life, and especially in the matter that I speak of.

I think the cards are telling me that  I need to let this emotional attachment go and return to the sea so that this mourning process can finally be over. It is what it is, and despite my grooming the flowers to make things look pretty, the truth is, I am rooted in the dirt where my feet walk, and flowers don't transplant well after digging them up. Neither does the past! If it didn't work before, it probably isn't going to now. You can't move forward by looking behind you.

Blessed Be.

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Turned Into Stone

Today I drew the 8 of wands, and Justice. To the left is the Victorian Romantic Tarot, and below is the Bohemian Gothic Tarot. I think they compliment each other beautifully.

The 8 of wands is about speed, and constancy, or things happening swiftly. In the Victorian Romantic Tarot, the 8 of wands is of a man who is lunging forward, perhaps in a race with two animals. The look on his face is really intense and he is doing what he must to win the race. They are running down hill, which can be very helpful in conserving energy, but it can also be detrimental if they were to stumble at the speed they are going! I picture a few thuds, a scream, and a face plant. LOL

In the Bohemian Gothic Tarot, there is a dark, earthly sky filed with clouds, and in the background fire and smoke. Gargoyles are in motion, as if ready to attack those who have penetrated the castle walls. The statue in front of them is of a hunched back man looking behind him in fright, as a lion bites at his heals. There is definitely an urgency about this card, and a lot of movement. But in retrospect, the movement is frozen into statues. Perhaps symbolizing frustration? Or even the importance of knowing exactly what it is that we are rushing into? We should pay mind to the dangers that may lie ahead, so that we can be best prepared for our advancement.

The Justice card in the Victorian Romantic Tarot is of a beautiful maiden with long, red hair holding a scale in one hand and a sword in the other. The sword at her side, its tip into the earth. She has the option of using it, but she doesn't. Perhaps a reminder that Justice will always prevail, even without trying? The fallen angel is cast over the side of the cliff, where fire awaits his fall. The scale dangling above his head, as he looks on it in fear.

In the Bohemian Gothic Tarot, the judge holds a book in one hand and a candle stick in the other. The book that happens to be on how to discover and execute witches. In the background, down the long narrow, dark hallway, it appears that a fire may have been set, as the warm glow reflects through the bottom of a closed door. The candle stick in the judge's hand is gripped tightly, Maybe in anger or regret? The figure behind the judge is what appears to be a priest in a hooded cloak. He folds his hands in front of him as if pleased with himself. He looks on at the judge making sure that he doesn't disobey him, or make a fuss of what has unfolded behind the closed, glowing door. Regardless of the judge's position, the church has supreme authority in his realm. His feelings are irrelevant. This card reminds us that the outcome isn't always fair. Strong prejudices and societies rules can have a heavy influence on such matters, causing some to see in black and white, and others to see in grey.

It is quite interesting how these two cards came up for me today. My youngest daughter has seen some injustice over the past couple of days, and she wasn't quite sure how to approach the matter. These cards show our desire to move forward, but the long pause taken as we sift through the ashes (our thoughts). And then ultimately deciding to turn a blind eye to it because it is pretty much out of our hands. It will be remembered, but muted for now. Turned into stone.

Blessed Be.

Friday, July 3, 2015

Where I am is just fine!

So, I finally broke down a few months ago and bought two very desired decks on my wish list. I have never been able to put aside enough money to get a deck from Baba Studio before, but I decided that I deserved to spoil myself with these. I haven't bought anything for myself in quite a while, and this is my reward for being such a good girl! I am SUPER happy I did, because the minute I put the Bohemian Gothic Tarot in my hands, I felt a deep rooted connection. I haven't ever felt this connection with a deck before - ever! I love it. It feels like it was made just for me.

The Bohemian Gothic Tarot deck that I purchased is the 3rd edition, and The Victorian Romantic Tarot I bought is the 2nd edition.

I have always been intrigued by comparing decks, and also using the darker decks for "shadow" work. I thought these two would be ideal for such a study.

While getting to know my cards, I am going to do readings asking one what I need to embrace, and the other what I need to let go in order to get to where I want to be in life.

VRT - What I need to embrace: 9 of cups.

According to the LWB that comes with the deck, the 9 of cups stands for attaining pleasure from good, basic things. Learning to find happiness in a down-to-earth kind of way. Concentrating on ones well-being and allowing yourself small indulgences (like me buying these cards!). When we learn to do this, we allow ourselves to begin to fulfill our wishes. We all get caught up in our lives and forget to enjoy simple things like that great glass of wine, or the warmth of your child's smile, or the sound of birds chirping as you greet your morning - alive and well.

The image on this card is of a man who sits on the edge of his seat drinking a big mug of whatever he likes best. Although his elbow rests on the table beside him, he still looks as if his seat is not comfortable to him. He has one foot forward, and the other back and the look on his face makes me think that he wants to drink to forget the ridiculous clothing he wears. LOL. The stained glass window to the right is letting in some light, reminding him that daylight is in bloom and he should get out and enjoy some fresh air. Perhaps he has over sipped some wine and needed to sit down for lack of balance? Maybe he was working in kitchen all morning serving the masters of the house, and now he takes some time out for himself to enjoy some fine wine when no one is looking? I know I would! So why don't I?

Why do I let so many days go by before I allow myself  to enjoy things? Why do I let myself stress over things that I can't change, or the endless pile of bills that will ALWAYS be there? The man in this card reminds me to slip away to my own oasis every once in a while, or to indulge myself a little. To forget about the chaos around me, and listen to stillness.

BGT - What I need to let go of: 6 of swords.

Again, the LWB says in the shadow aspects of the card, that I should give up control and let someone else decide my next move. It suggests that I might feel depressed and "dead to the world" and too passive to achieve anything. It also suggests phobia about travel or a major move, and even a period of mourning a loss.

Now let me tell you how accurate this resonates with me. I have been mourning for 4 plus years! The loss of a friend due to a freak accident. The loss of a relationship with a man who loved only himself. The loss of myself while in that relationship. It is as if I pushed all my feelings of grief down deep and kept going, not allowing myself to feel anything. Then after my last relationship ended, I had to finally FEEL again. I had to pick up all my broken pieces, and literally glue myself back together again. Instead of mourning one broken relationship, I had to sift through several devastating moments in my life and find out where I went and how I was going to move forward alone. And now that I have done the majority of that, I have become complacent in my life. I live where I live, and am not willing or able to move. I love someone, but will not put forth any effort to be in a relationship with him, mainly because I know that it will require me to move 4 hours south from where I currently live, and I am not willing to move my children away from their friends again. They are military kids, and have sacrificed enough friends over the years. They deserve to spend their last years of school where they have found happiness. I feel that is the least that I can do for them. They deserve stability. Plus their father lives near, and I am unwilling to take them from him. I am fortunate to have him as their father because he is a good man.

The image on this card is that of a beautiful, mountainous, lake landscape. The time is sunset, and a small viking like boat sits peacefully on the water, near the shoreline. A body lays on the boat wrapped in soft, velvet like, red fabric. Two candles light the way for the ship, as they sit at the front of the boat, gently blowing in the breeze. There appears to be a grim reaper rowing the boat from behind the sleeping body, perhaps guiding the restful soul into the afterlife. They are not very far from land, so maybe they have already arrived to a different dimension? Or maybe they use the land as a compass, as they drift along the coast into the unknown?

Perhaps I should surrender to the unknown? Let go of my dead friend? Let go of the idea that I have to move to find a happy relationship with the man that I love? Perhaps if I stay right here, someone else that I am better suited with will find me as long as I continue moving forward, close to the land that I already see? Maybe I should go slower in that forward direction paying special attention not to blow out the light that guides me? If I go to fast, the wind will extinguish the light that I count on for guidance and warmth. I should learn that it's okay to be right where I am now? Let go of my need to control where I am headed? It all makes perfect sense, really.

So I should embrace where I am at now, and let go of the idea that I have someplace else to be.

Did I mention, I love these cards? :)

Blessed Be.

Monday, May 4, 2015

Let Go & Live

Have you ever felt like your inside self didn't match your outside self? When you get up and move across the room, you feel confident and sexy, but when you pass the mirror on the wall you see someone that you hardly recognize? That's me. I have been walking for the last couple weeks on an almost daily basis, only taking weekends off. I did this same thing last year, but this year I have stepped it up and added a couple miles a day.

Last night, while looking out my front door I saw that one girl in the neighborhood that I do not get a long with. I think we all have at least one of those, don't we? Well, for years now, I can't help but compete with her in my head. In order to stop myself from doing this, I stay away from her side of town, and avoid bumping into her. It has worked, up until now, when she walked past my own front porch. Yuck!   

Anyhow, I woke up with the urge to get right out there and walk my ass off today, competing with her again. So, now you know, I'm not as confident as I would like to be! Comparing myself to someone else. How dare I? Instead of using her as motivation to kick butt on my walk today, I asked my Wild Unknown Tarot to help. This is what it said .... only in my voice and not a cool voice like Sam Elliott.

What I need to let go of - 5 of swords. Self destructive behaviors! Boy, if I didn't almost spit coffee on that one. In a traditional RWS card the image is of a man facing his enemies with a sword. His enemies lay down their weapons and walk away. I admit, I felt like the one who braves them all and stands there still holding my sword when I woke up this morning. But now I kind of feel like this snake like figure, burning from the inside because I have been cut. I am in the body that I am in because I participated in destructive behaviors. Now it is up to me to learn to let go of those patterns, and form more healthy ones. Thank you Tarot for being so direct. Sometimes my head is like meat sauce.

What I need to embrace - 6 of wands. Rise above! I am that beautiful butterfly, but if I drop my guard, and don't pay close attention to where I go, what I do, (what I put into my friggin mouth), I will entangle myself in the brush underneath me, thus damaging my wings, and hindering my ability to fly.

Hope this is not only inspirational for myself, but also to anyone else who is on the same journey as myself. Good luck.

Blessed Be.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Darkness before the Dawn

This morning I could not sleep so I awoke and made a cup of coffee. I drank it out on the front porch in silence, still dark out. It was only 4 am, so the good part of the world was still asleep. The birds were singing and it was peaceful. It centered me, bringing me the balance that I needed after waking up thinking of David. (the ex bf) I could feel the presence of mother earth, and felt her hug me, trying to offer me comfort and ease my pain.

After my coffee, I came inside and lit a candle, and drew two tarot cards. One to tell me what I should embrace today, and one to tell me what I needed to let go of.

The card that I drew telling me what I need to let go of was the Guardian of Action. I knew straight away that this was David, because it even looks similar to him! Waking to his memory this morning made me question why now? After four plus years, why do I suddenly wake to such paralyzing memories? Why now after all this time? Why does he still have this hold over me? The ability to continue hurting me even when he has long since been out of the picture?

The Guardian of Action enjoys the spotlight, just as David had. I was made to put on a happy face, get thin and be arm candy for him. I was only there to accommodate his desires, to be seen and not heard from like a child. I find it most difficult  because even though I was a shell of a person, I was thin and beautiful. It is hard for me to let go of HER (who I was when I was with him). Even though inside I was dying, on the outside I was everything that I aspire to be now.

Even though I am more me now than I have ever been before, my outsides do not match what is inside, and I want it to so badly. I lack luster now. My guides are correct on so many levels here. I can not move forward until I can let go of all things 'David.' Even the person I was back then.

The card drawn to show me what I should be embracing is the 10 of Action. At first it confused me, but then after some quiet meditation, I realized that it was telling me to look at how far I have come without him! I have successfully raised my two daughters (they are not his children) alone with little help from anyone. I get child support from their father, and I am very grateful for that. But the rest has been all me. They are charming young girls, with a bright future ahead of them, and even if I don't usually give myself credit, credit is due.  

The card says on it, "Straining to make others happy can be harmful to your health." This jumped out to me, reminding me that my goals are made with the best of intentions, but until I learn to let go of my past, I can not be as healthy, thin, and beautiful as I wish to be. I have to do it for me, and not anyone else. In my mind, the majority of the time, I want to get thin so that I can satisfy the old records in my head of him telling me that I am fat, and that I need to lose weight. But if I learn to quiet those thoughts, and replace them with new ones, than perhaps I can learn to love the woman staring back at me in the mirror. Perhaps, I can accept her the way that she already is. Do it because I want to, and not because I feel someone else expects me to.

There will be darkness before the dawn. When I close my eyes, and listen to my spirit guides, they tell me six little words, "this is stress related, let go." And who better understands me than they do?

Blessed Be.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Heigh ho off to the post office I go ...

Today's cards are pretty straight forward.

Using my Housewives Tarot:

1. 9 of cups - what I need to embrace today. The nine of cups is about happiness and comfort. After making difficult decisions with the 7, and the stagnation of the 8, the 9 starts to balance things out again. Today is my day off from work. So for me it is about working all week, putting everything into my work week, and then having my day off. I will be embracing the comfort of my own home today, and enjoying something more creative and much needed. This card makes me think of a bottle of wine! Perhaps it is time to give a gift to myself? :D A new Tarot deck?!!

2. 9 of pentacles - what I need to let go of today. The nine of pentacles is about independence, luxury and being self-sufficient. The shadow side of this card talks about over investment and financial setbacks. There is a new Tarot deck that I have been dying to have, and it has weighed heavily on my mind the last couple of days. To me, the presence of the 9 of pentacles reminds me that if I spend this money, I will have a financial setback, so it is probably best that I wait. How strange that the 9 of cups wants to give it to me, but the 9 of pentacles says, "not right now." She is such a meanie. (LOL)

On to Lenormand ....

I have committed myself (ring) to sending out a package (letter) successfully today (sun). To top it off, it is a Tarot deck. (LOL) Someone else will be getting a new deck, but it won't be me. As I quickly wipe away a tear, and chug some coffee, I prepare myself for the day ahead. That bottle of wine is sounding really good right now. It must be noon somewhere?!

So, Heigh Ho, off to the post office I go. Have a wonderful day.

Blessed Be.

** update **

I got my package successfully sent out today. And  I was feeling the pull to spend that money for a nice new deck, but I was able to suppress it. For a little while, anyway. ha.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Baby it's cold outside ....

I decided to get back into posting my daily draws so that I will hold myself accountable to continue using my many Tarot cards. I have submersed myself into learning Lenormand for a few years now, but while doing that, my Tarot reading has taken a back seat. My pretty card collection isn't being used, and that is really sad.

The cards I chose to use today are from the Housewives Tarot.  I drew two Tarot cards:

1. To represent what I need to embrace today - Chariot.
2. To represent what I need to let go of today - 10 of cups.

The Lenormand cards are : Scythe + Snake + Bear representing what I can expect out of my day today.

Immediately, I was able to relate to the Lenormand cards. I find it really ironic sometimes that three little cards often times tell me about a couple of different things that occur during my daily activity. First and foremost, my TV is currently on TLC and airing a show about a woman who is getting weight loss surgery. (Scythe+Bear) When she gets weight loss surgery, she becomes a more curvaceous, seductive, attractive woman. (Snake).

But setting that aside, I will attempt to predict what I think the cards will mean for me today.

I see that a woman's decision (scythe + bear) although complicated (snake) will become final (scythe). Or that a woman (snake) will have to make a financial decision. (scythe+bear). Since the scythe comes before the snake, it can serve as a reminder to beware of a woman.

I happen to know that today is bill paying day, so it can also be possible that it will show me giving away a big chunk of my money today. Also, currently I take walks each day to try to lose some weight, so maybe today my walk gets canceled, after all, it is raining out. :)

Chariot - In the little book that accompanies my cards, it says, "that a woman can't run errands by sitting on her sofa," and urges her to gas up the station wagon, and hit the road. Some decisions will be made while out and about, and adding a little adventurous route on the way home might be a little fun.  It says, "nothing ventured, nothing gained!" 

So the Chariot, in the form of a station wagon, tells me that I should try and find fun where fun isn't today. Since my walk may be canceled due to the rain, maybe I can do something crafty instead. Or find an indoor exercise to do? (probably won't - ha ha ha). I know myself too well.

10 of Cups - In the little book, it says, "a jubilant housewife proudly displays her collection of drinking glasses." and "if life hands you lemons, mix up a Tom Collins!" Housewives are masters of their trade. They have a recipe for everything, and they often times keep their bar fully stocked. In my case, my refrigerator! lol

So the 10 of cups, tells me that I should let go of the urge to overeat today since I may not be able to go on my walk and burn off extra calories. How literal cards can be. I love them. They give me fresh perspective every time I use them.

Enjoy your day.
Blessed Be.

** update **

Scythe + Snake + Bear was actually the theme of my day.

My daughter came home from school, and was anxious to tell me about her dream the night before. She said she woke with a "Lizzie Bordon" song in her head. (LOL) We both had a laugh there.

Then when I went to bed, I fell asleep to another show about a woman with weight loss surgery.

Oh, and I did have the last say about something today. It was a difficult decision, and it was about money management.

I didn't go for my walk today because the weather wasn't cooperating. So I was able to relax for the most part, until work anyway. Overeating was a tough one! Especially at night.