Tuesday, July 14, 2015

She Becomes a Woman

Victorian Romantic Tarot & Bohemian Gothic Tarot
I haven't blogged in a couple of days because something at home has kept me down and out. Today I drew a couple of cards to ask about my day, and I get the 3 of pentacles, and the 8 of cups.

Once again, I am drawing from the Victorian Romantic Tarot & the Bohemian Gothic Tarot, comparing cards and adding dimension to their meanings. 

The 3 of pentacles is a card that shows teamwork, or using ones skills to accomplish something, and then feeling fulfilled. 

Whenever we take on a project, we put forth the efforts to see it to fruition, and when we are done, if we did all that we were suppose to do, and correctly, we will have something to be proud of.  

In the first card above, we have an older gentleman / craftsman carving a Christmas ornament, while two children watch on, captivated by his skills and dedication. The little girl's eyebrows are raised showing us that she is surprised and excited to see the final results of this project. 

In the second card, we have the scientist who created Frankenstein. The scientist stands back, arms raised as he anticipates his genius project coming alive. Watching on eagerly, while Frankenstein checks himself out for the first time, seeing what he can and can't do for himself. 

I feel like the past couple of days, I have been the scientist and my oldest daughter Frankenstein. When I went to pick the girls up from their father, I noticed AGAIN that my oldest daughter had went shopping for more clothes. It happens a lot. Every girl likes fine clothes, right? Well, I am all good and well with that except for the fact that my youngest daughter doesn't get anything. It's starting to feel like the new wife favors one child over the other, and my youngest daughter is also noticing, after all, she is 13. This will not pave the road for any bonding in the future, for this I am sure! 

Well being the mother that I am, I feel like I am the voice for my children. When they are being neglected or treated unfairly, it is still my responsibility to say something about it; so I did. My words weren't harsh, and I was diplomatic, but this still left a rift between me and my older daughter. I suppose she didn't like the fact that I told her that she was old enough to see what was going on, and that she knows right from wrong. I told her that she should have mentioned her sister, or tried to bring her back something from her trip to the store. I have never gone to the store and brought back for one and not the other just because one decided to stay home. Even when I dated men who had children of their own, I never felt right buying for my children and not his. I thought this was something that every mother would feel. But apparently not. So, I talked to the kid's father to make sure that this will not continue to happen. I  have one daughter with too many clothes to fit in a dresser, and another with hardly any. *sigh*

The 8 of cups is about abandonment, escaping something, and disappointments. 

The card on the left is of a woman who has walked partially down a sidewalk, and stops to wipe away her tears. Her dog looks like he is hesitant to further approach her, feeling her sadness, he tucks his tail between his legs. Behind them is 8 empty cups. It appears she was tending to her garden, but stopped before she was finished, due to this heaviness she feels in her heart; this disappointment. 

The card to the right, is rather intriguing. Each time I look at it, I give the woman a new story. This time, I see her as me. She wears pearls, and has her hair up, showing her maturity. She appears to be leaving behind the things that upset her and cause her grief, but she heads through a doorway that looks pretty scary. It has a skull above it, and it is very dark and eerie. She pauses for a moment to look behind her, her face full of concern. This is a transition period for her.

It is a transition period for me. I have raised two beautiful daughters into fine young women, and there are times when I must be their mother instead of their friend. Regardless of how it makes me feel, I still have to do what is right, and they will just have to get over it, or don't.

All that is left now is to give her space. Now that I think of it, this card could even be her, looking behind her toward me, and yet moving away from me one step at a time. It is her turn to transition into a mature young woman, and my turn to let go and see the fruits of my labor unfold before me, no longer under my control. Gulp. No easy feat for me!

Blessed Be.


  1. Let me guess... the new wife doesn't have any children at home? I bet she looks at your oldest as her new best buddy and likes having her stepchild like her (of course we won't tell her that "stuff" doesn't really create a firm foundation for a relationship). I've been in a step family and now am part of one. They're tough on adults and kids. I can see that lady in the VR walking away from her garden because part of that plot isn't hers to cultivate anymore.

    1. I think she has good intentions. My youngest likes to be at home with her dad alone, so I think that the step mom takes the older one with her to allow for that to happen, but my oldest is clever enough to go along with her just because she knows she will get "stuff." Yup, I have cultivated, loved my garden, now I have to see if it can prosper on its own. :(

    2. Now that does sound like she has good intentions - a reason to be thankful! It's wonderful when both families are supportive and loving.

      You still have part of a garden left to cultivate - you! :) I bet you'll find a new and exciting way to do it too.

  2. I am sure you it will see it prosper and grow. Your girls are at an age when they can push your buttons so easily, especially your eldest. I've raised two girls through puberty on my own and I know it isn't easy and you can feel so uncertain and alone sometimes. But trust me in the end love conquers all. Both of them will need a lot more from you before they are grown up and after that they will still need you
    Encouraging and gentle Hugs

    1. Awww. Thank you for that. I needed to hear it. It can be a very lonely feeling sometimes, esp when they spend the majority of their time in their bedrooms now. I hope they never outgrow me! xo

  3. That's rough. Navigating step-family terrain is rarely straightforward and that Eight of Cups underscores that so succinctly with its themes of leaving behind the familiar and the uncertainty that comes with that.

    Wishing you steps on the journey that feel supportive and engaged.