friend today, and it confirmed the feelings that I had in my gut.
Today I drew three cards from the Bohemian Gothic Tarot asking what I should do next in my "situation."
I get 9 of pentacles, 7 of swords and the Page of cups.
My first reaction when seeing the cards, pulling them one at a time was to compose myself (9 of pentacles), because I am a strong, independent woman, take from this situation, that which serves me well (7 of pentacles) and keep walking, because the love that is being offered to me isn't mature enough to sustain me, and only speaks of what I want to hear. (Page of cups).
But I will take a more detailed approach for the sake of interpreting the artist's beautiful cards.
9 of pentacles - This card is about being independent, and resilient. When we reach a certain age, we are able to let go of all the drama, and learn to be content with the things that truly matter to us. But there can also be that feeling that you've missed out on something in life. In my case, a relationship that I never gave a chance.
The woman in this card stands tall and proud, her hand out, strong, balanced and holding a hooded falcon. The look on her face shows pride, but her clothes and wig suggest that she is somehow faking it. At her feet, the skulls of other birds, perhaps indication that she has been alone with her pet birds for quite sometime. She keeps her falcon hooded, which makes me think she doesn't want him to fly away and leave her completely alone. It's one thing to be single and without human company, but another to be void of all living creatures. I would find it hysterical to see a bunch of cats in the picture with her, turning her into an "old cat lady." LOL (my friend's tease me about this all the time, telling me that I will someday be one).
7 of swords - This card usually indicates a small deception or dishonesty. For me today, I am sure that it represents rushing into something risky without first doing research, or even a little bit of vengeance for hurt feelings.
The young girl in the picture is carefully tip toeing away with a book of spells. The castle behind her only has one lit window, but no one appears to be looking out at her, which means she is currently safe. I bet her heart is pounding though! The question is, what does she plan to do with that spell book? Is she going to use it for good, or bad? Perhaps the book belongs to her, and she is just getting away while the getting is good?
Page of cups - This particular page usually brings messages of emotion and love. (as stated above, in my particular situation, I am hearing words of love, but not seeing actions to accompany them). Although this page usually says things with passion and goodwill, he/she is still naive. There is usually an unwillingness to grow up and leave childhood dreams behind.
The girl on this image looks young, like most Pages do. She is standing on a set of stairs, outdoors in the dark of the night. The look on her face, dreamy and unsure of herself. She doesn't look like she is certain if she wants to take the last step or not. At the bottom of the railing, an urn sits adorn by a water sprite. It appears to be watching her, waiting for her to make a move, maybe even whispering how fun it will be to leave and be free. The ivy vines twisting around the railing suggesting that she feels like she can't breath in that place any longer. I don't know how planned this event is, as she only holds a tiny purse, indicating a mind that has yet to grow with maturity.
Even with these different layers of detail, I still get the feeling that my next move should be to walk away, letting the past and what "might have been" go. Sometimes its just best to not know. Planning any vengeance, or desiring to hurt back will not prove mature. It just is what it is.
That doesn't stop me from adding funny memes to this post though, as a means to relieve frustration! ;) I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.