Have you ever felt like your inside self didn't match your outside self? When you get up and move across the room, you feel confident and sexy, but when you pass the mirror on the wall you see someone that you hardly recognize? That's me. I have been walking for the last couple weeks on an almost daily basis, only taking weekends off. I did this same thing last year, but this year I have stepped it up and added a couple miles a day.
Last night, while looking out my front door I saw that one girl in the neighborhood that I do not get a long with. I think we all have at least one of those, don't we? Well, for years now, I can't help but compete with her in my head. In order to stop myself from doing this, I stay away from her side of town, and avoid bumping into her. It has worked, up until now, when she walked past my own front porch. Yuck!
Anyhow, I woke up with the urge to get right out there and walk my ass off today, competing with her again. So, now you know, I'm not as confident as I would like to be! Comparing myself to someone else. How dare I? Instead of using her as motivation to kick butt on my walk today, I asked my Wild Unknown Tarot to help. This is what it said .... only in my voice and not a cool voice like Sam Elliott.
What I need to let go of - 5 of swords. Self destructive behaviors! Boy, if I didn't almost spit coffee on that one. In a traditional RWS card the image is of a man facing his enemies with a sword. His enemies lay down their weapons and walk away. I admit, I felt like the one who braves them all and stands there still holding my sword when I woke up this morning. But now I kind of feel like this snake like figure, burning from the inside because I have been cut. I am in the body that I am in because I participated in destructive behaviors. Now it is up to me to learn to let go of those patterns, and form more healthy ones. Thank you Tarot for being so direct. Sometimes my head is like meat sauce.
What I need to embrace - 6 of wands. Rise above! I am that beautiful butterfly, but if I drop my guard, and don't pay close attention to where I go, what I do, (what I put into my friggin mouth), I will entangle myself in the brush underneath me, thus damaging my wings, and hindering my ability to fly.
Hope this is not only inspirational for myself, but also to anyone else who is on the same journey as myself. Good luck.