Sunday, June 8, 2014

Courage Through Pain

Today is a revisit with my yearly reading that I did for myself back in January. If you would like to see the original post, you may do so HERE.  

For the month of May 2014, it read like this ...

May - I will be exposed to a truth, and this will allow me to accept things and move on. I am assuming that this has to do with the above person. We seem to have an on again, off again type relationship - so this will probably be more of the same. We do not live in the same state as each other, so I don't allow myself to get too close to him anyway. Contentment with career. Although there will be frustrations, I will remain optimistic. This months virtue is about fortitude (courage in pain and adversity).
Here is what actually happened...

The person whom I thought the reading would be about, it is not him. In fact, I thought the entire years worth of reading might be related to him in some way, but I am thankful that is not the case anymore. The relationship didn't end, but it is no longer an option either. We both left it at friendship, and I saw through the crap a couple of months ago.  

The truths that were exposed to me in May were that of two things. The first one, I had missed a friend that I had pushed out of my life, and realized just how much I still wanted him a part of my future. I am very thankful that he has a forgiving heart and has welcomed me back into his life gladly. :)

The other truth was that I have to let go of my friend who died six years ago. His spirit used to visit me frequently, but now it is less and less. I miss him terribly, and my heart still feels gashed open. I never got to say goodbye, as it was a freak accident, and the "could have beens" trouble me. It dawned on me after a conversation with my friend that I needed to probably let him go now, and let my memories be enough. In fact, it may be his time to reincarnate, and I may be keeping him here longer. This thought has bothered me a great deal, and I have had a few nightmares about the letting go process. In my near future, I will be having my own little ceremony to let him go. I don't want to hold him up any longer. Not an easy thing for me to do.  
If anything, in the month of May, I definitely learned to have courage through the pain, and over come adversities in my life.

So far this yearly reading has been a real eye opener, and very accurate. I will probably use it again next year.

Blessed Be

No comments:

Post a Comment