Last weekend while at a basketball game, I ran into my abusive ex bf. I never thought I would run into him being that it was from a town that neither of us live in, and he has no daughter! It was a girls basketball game. For cryin out loud!
I moved a town away from him just so that I could avoid him from the rest of my life. That day was the second time I had seen him in this NEW year! I seriously need to start some spell work here, and get rid of him from my head, my town, and from appearing in my life anymore. I don't want to hurt him, I just want him to avoid me like a plague.
Tomorrow I have another basketball game to go to. Or should I say three! It is an all day thing. Four hours of sitting in the crowd hoping not to see HIM! I have spent the last several house crying my eyes out because the thought of seeing him makes me shake, and my body becomes physically ill. All of the hurts come flooding back, and it's been three years!
To some who ask why I just can't stop thinking about him all together, I say "do you really think I want to feel this way?" I am not doing this on purpose. I have ZERO love for him. In fact, I believe I don't even hate him anymore. I just don't want him anywhere near me. If I never see him again, I would be very happy. Dating him has forever changed who I am as a person. He took from me more than I could even put here in words.
Anyhow, I did a reading tonight with my newly modified Druid Craft Tarot. I trimmed the borders off from it, and like it so much better now. It is so colorful and vibrant. A real favorite now. My question to my cards was, "Tell me how tomorrow will go for me - body, mind, and spirit." I didn't ask a yes or no question, because I was afraid it would freak me out more if it said he will be there.
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| Druid Craft Tarot - modified |
Body - Prince of Wands - I take this as enjoying leisurely travel with enthusiasm. Hmm.
Mind - six of swords - Comfort, solace and renewal. Hmm again.
Spirit - ten of cups - Rainbows appear after it has rained. ( how literal did I take that? my tears were definitely falling like rain today.)
Summary - It looks like I will enjoy spending time with my daughter tomorrow, and find comfort while there, which I take to believe that I will not see him. And all my crying will have been for nothing.
Now let's see what really happens. A follow up will definitely be posted tomorrow. My Lenormand gave me the number 8 for tomorrow during my monthly planning. 8 is for death or endings. It might be there to warn me of my destructive self talk too.
Praying for rainbows!
Blessed Be!
The deck looks great. I've trimmed mine till the green borders. but when they tear and wear I can trim a little further :D
ReplyDelete:) thanks. and good idea! i was wondering myself how i could make the edges more sturdy. it's a pretty thin deck. i have to shuffle with extra care.
ReplyDeleteI know, but is definitely worth it! :)
DeleteI so agree! A definite favorite. :)
DeleteTo me, those cards also speak of you having more strength and resilience than you give yourself credit for - you can find the energy to cope, and separate yourself from negative thoughts, finding an inner sense of completion :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! That is very helpful. I actually worried myself into sickness, and didn't end up going that day. I was physically ill for three days. So glad that is over. On the black moon, I am going to concentrate on letting all the negatives from my past go for good! x bridgett
DeleteSorry to hear you worried yourself sick! Still, as you say, the black moon is an excellent time for that kind of spell work. Bright Blessings, Kerry x
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